Blue
by LadyUranus
Summary: Songfic to "Blue," Spoiler for end of CB. Characters contemplating.


Blue  
  
Author's Note/ Spoiler Warning: If you have not seen the end of the series "Cowboy Bebop" please do not read this. It will give everything away. I'm worried about whether this is too cryptic, or any grammatical errors, feel free to do more commenting then "that was good/awful." This is a one shot, I will not continue it unless I do a prequel or some such.  
  
  
Never seen a blue sky  
Yeah I can feel it reaching out  
And moving closer  
There's something about blue  
  
Spike looked up as Julia lay in his warm arms, as chilly as the coldest nights. As chilly as the day which had been her death. The winds blew swiftly at her hair, moving it's blonde locks to the rhythm of nature.   
He saw the sky. Brilliantly white, as though heaven's hand was reaching through to take Julia to heaven.   
He had always remembered the sky being blue... but he remembered... he had learned...about color and light, about what it really was. It really isn't anything, he thought, color is a human's imagination, this is what the sky is. Nothing, a brilliant nothingness. Julia is going to it...  
I'll join her, soon.  
  
The dead man lay on the stairs of the top floor. His head facing downwards, his descent stopped halfway down the red velvet steps. His dark jacket, covered in blood, facing the blood stained ground. His hair, frizzy with a green tint, was the only visible part of him besides his coat.  
To avoid the carnage, the nameless man looked up. He had never realized how close the top floor was to the heavens. It was as though the syndicate had been trying to build the Tower of Babel.   
Reaching towards the heavens, it's open skies ready to take away all the syndicate's dead souls. This dead man was going there too, he was sure.  
The nameless man blinked, and saw the skies sudden brilliance. It's radiant blueness. Even the white nothingness of the clouds were unable to hide the skies true color-- blue.   
The clouds parted farther, revealing increasingly more blue, blue that hadn't been seen by his eyes since he was a young child.   
The sky seemed to be moving closer to the building. Perhaps it wanted to take the dead man's soul.  
There's something about blue...this certain blue...  
  
Asked myself what it's all for  
You know the funny thing about it  
I couldn't answer  
No I couldn't answer  
  
Spike stared at Julia in the grayness of the graveyard. He had forgotten how much he had lost without her.   
He had told Jet about how he felt "complete" around her. But some of his words had felt untrue, too dramatic to be true.   
Maybe that was what the truth felt like; perhaps the truth felt like a lie.  
Then I've been telling the truth the whole time, thought Spike with a pessimistic grin on his face.  
Everything seemed vaguer, more dreamlike, in her presence. Her aura filled his emptiness, and the glass that had been half-empty became full. Wind tried to cut through their heart's bonds, the cold wind of this cutting day. And for a second, it did.  
And in that second, a thousand questions came to Spike's mind. Is life really worth it? Will I ever be happy without her? Am I happy with her?  
She spoke as the wind became stronger, and he lost his questions in the mist of her dulcet voice.  
  
Things have turned a deeper shade of blue  
And images that might be real  
May be illusion  
Keep flashing off and on  
  
Jet looked out the window of the ship, the sky a myriad of stars in the tinted blackness. In a moment of clarity, Jet saw space as though it wasn't really black... but rather sprinkled with bits of the sky he saw on the planets. It was tinted a particularly radiant shade of blue.  
It's brilliance spread to the stars, and made them glow brighter.  
In a blink his poetic musings disappeared, and Jet thought back to Spike's entrance only an hour ago.  
He wondered if he had been hallucinating, if it hadn't been real. The conversation had felt so tense, yet so full of memories. Mostly bad ones, but they had seemed to be grabbing at the few that had brought them joy. But it hadn't seemed quite real... more like a daydream then reality...  
Jet stumbled towards the table, to see if the food he had made for Spike was still there.  
On the table was an empty plate.  
  
Free  
Wanna be free  
Gonna be free  
And move among the stars  
You know they really aren't so far  
  
Her golden hair was perched around her cherub face. Her body was framed by the feathers of angels. The sky shined in the night, stars twinkling down upon him as the blood leaked through. He could see her. Up in heaven, the trumpets of above playing their song.   
Julia...  
All he wanted was to caress her body, feel her heart close to his. Even as his heart slowed, he knew they could live among the angels. Far above the dream world, the purgatory. He would find his way to the heavens, to the stars, if it meant he could be with her.   
He wanted her for eternity, her gentle lips, her smooth skin, her golden locks, her eyes that gave him hope. He remembered seeing her as he awoke, as she sang her angelic song.   
He would spend each morning listening to her, she was an angel on earth, and her voice would be the most beautiful in all the skies. He felt as though he could reach her... if he just reached a bit further...  
  
Feels so free  
Gotta know free  
Please  
Don't wake me from the dream  
It's really everything it seemed  
  
I'm ascending far above, Spike thought. To be with her, to be with the joys of a life he lost so long ago. He only wished he had not spent his time here. Inside the nightmarish dream her had lived so long.   
He wished for a dream without the pain of loss. A place in without the knowledge that the world thought you dead. He was no more then a ghost to his true life, the life he was leaving behind. It could have been so much. But fate had made him suffer through.   
The dream... it was so real. The pain he had felt, as terrible as the pain he had felt in life. The emotion just as poignant. He had distanced himself from the things of his life, and by pretending what he lived now was a dream, had managed to sever any ties to the people he met.  
Or so he had hoped.  
Jet. I've never been honest with you, have I? Never been very loyal either... Must have caused you so much pain. And will probably cause you more. Forget me, Jet. I'm a good for nothing scum bag. Forget me… for my sake...and yours...  
Faye. What were you trying to say, before I left? Could I have been happy with you? If I had never met Julia.. You sang just as sweet a song. But I was so far from everything, trying to wake myself, trying to stop "dreaming."  
Ed...  
I'm not dreaming am I? He tried to whisper, but nothing came out. I'm alive. I've been alive this entire time, with all these people trying to make me live again. But all I've done is think about the past! Oh god, what have I done? I just want to live! Live my life and be happy. Stop this ceaseless dream that can't give me anything, because I never accepted it as life...  
I want to live.   
  
I'm so free  
No black and white in the blue  
  
The sky. Its so blue. The most beautiful sight I've ever seen. It took me so long... so long to understand... I've been alive all along. I never died, or slept, or dreamed. I only hoped. Hoped for something better then what I had.   
And the sky... its beauty... the last beauty I'll ever see... in my life...  
  
Everything is clearer now  
Life is just a dream you know  
That's never ending  
I'm ascending  
  
Don't miss me, Jet, Faye, Ed..   
I'm going to the stars, to find my life again. Letting my dream wash away, now that I can see what my dream really was...  
I'm coming to you Julia, away from the life I thought I wasn't living. To live with you, once I'm dead.   
The world is full opposites.  
I'm breathing me last breath, and yet beginning to live once more... 


End file.
